You’re probably wondering why my posts about our trip have tapered off.  It’s because we were learning a few things about what not to do on a road trip.

 

 

What Not To Do #1:  Get Head Lice

That’s right.  We woke up at the Grand Canyon with two children with head lice.

On a road trip.

In an RV.

In another state.

Ugh.

With no adequate laundry, showers or hair clippers, we had to push pause on the Grand Canyon and head to Flagstaff to find a hotel room and Laundromat.

It’s kind of confusing to drive through Flagstaff.  But we found Route 66.

I shampooed and combed and picked nits {yuck!!} while Colin took anything washable to a laundry service and sprayed down anything not washable {including the entire RV} with lice spray.

Payton said goodbye to the mohawk, which made cleaning his hair so easy.  Ellie, on the other hand, was much, much, much harder.  I cut her hair to her shoulders {which she was surprisingly excited for} and shampooed her.  Then I spent three and a half hours picking through her hair while she watched the Disney Channel.  This was the second most miserable job I’ve ever had to do.  {I don’t even want to talk about the other one.}

After so long I’m sure I missed some so we’ll keep shampooing until we kill every last one of those blasted bugs.  I think there should be a professional that can take care of this.  You know, like carpet or gutter cleaning.  Lice cleaning.  But since there’s not, we’ve been thinking about just getting a monkey.  Maybe that will make it easier.

Side note: On the way to Flagstaff a vulture almost hit our windshield beak first.  If he had, for sure he would have shattered the windshield and ended up in my husband’s lap.  That’s the way this trip is going.  But he didn’t.  He pulled up and soared over the top of Sweetness {that’s what we named the RV}.

After the longest day ever, we got fantastic sleep in a comfy hotel, then got ready to head back to the Grand Canyon {we still hadn’t seen it yet}.

 

 

What Not To Do #2:  Wreck The RV

This may seem obvious, but stick with me.

We filled up for gas and Colin started pulling out of the station and we heard the worst sound you can hear when driving an RV…BOOM!!!

Colin clipped the cement post by the pump with the back corner of the RV as he pulled out and the back of the RV tore open.  The RV we are borrowing.  From friends.  You know, the one we don’t own.  I wanted to throw up.

I felt TERRIBLE for ruining someone else’s RV.  Horrible.  Absolutely awful.  Have you ever accidentally ruined someone’s things?  It just gives you a pit in your stomach and you want to disappear or turn back time or…throw up.

We drove ever so slowly to an RV repair place on the other side of Flagstaff and found out that they would need 3-4 weeks to just get parts to fix it.  Our only option was to patch it and head home.  No Disneyland.  No cousins.  No Grand Canyon.  I wanted to cry and pretend it didn’t happen.  And cry some more.  Which I did in the bathroom of the mall by the RV center.  It wasn’t my best moment.

Once I pulled myself together we headed to Home Depot – where everyone goes to fix an RV.  We got plastic sheeting and Gorilla Tape {even better than duct tape} and created a new back corner of the RV.

Beautiful, right?

I finally gave in to the inevitable and we headed out of town towards California.  An hour and a half from the Grand Canyon and we couldn’t see it.

Then we got a call from the owners of the RV assuring us that everything was going to be ok, that they were just worried about us and they didn’t want us to feel bad.  They repeatedly told us that it’s just a toy and that’s what insurance is for.  Can you believe that grace?  It brought me to tears again.  We didn’t deserve it.  We ruined their vehicle.  But they were more concerned about us than their loss.  That is amazing.  Mercy when we deserved judgement.  Grace when we deserved guilt.

We knew we needed to make it to California, as far as we could.  But my husband, in his infinite understanding, knew that I’d be devastated if we didn’t glimpse Route 66.  So he randomly left the freeway and we drove the Mother Road.  The longest continuous stretch still in existence.

And Sally was right.  It does move with the land.  It’s beautiful.

 

 

Driving it was just wonderful.  I wish my dad could have seen it.  He would have loved the kitsch of it all.  We rolled into Seligman, Arizona and I thought I had entered Radiator Springs.  Neon, curios, proud historic motels.  It was perfect.  Just as I imagined it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The rest of it was kind of like this.

Not too pretty.  But still interesting.  Could you imagine driving this in the summer?  At 35 miles an hour?  Without air conditioning?

We stopped in Kingman for the best mexican food ever {still on Route 66}.  I think it was called Oyster’s.

 

 

 

 

 

What Not To Do #3: Vacation in the desert in July

Then we drove and drove.  Over what I think must have been molten lava {but the map said was the Mojave Desert}.  At 10pm it was 108 degrees outside.  Our kids were so hot they couldn’t sleep.  It.was.miserable.  When we finally decided to stop it was 11:30pm and we were in Barstow, California.  It was 98 degrees and we ran the generator all night so we could have A/C.

{By the way, before you stay overnight in the Barstow Walmart parking lot I have some advice for you…don’t.  It’s the ghetto.  I mean scary ghetto.  Just move on.}

The next morning it was 86 degrees when we woke up.  That’s hot.  But we finally found our first Starbucks that we could drive the RV to, and I had my first latte of the trip.  Iced, of course.

I really needed that coffee.

As we left I realized that my image of California as a dry, ugly place was not being helped out by the surroundings.  It was dry.  And ugly.  And hot.  And ugly.

 

 

We finally made it past Hinkley {from Erin Brockovich fame} and Mojave and Bakersfield, to I-5.  Hooray!  Trees!  Farms!  Regular temperatures! {Ok, maybe not regular.  California was HOT.  But it wasn’t 111 degrees anymore.}

 

We landed tonight in Gilroy, California  Apparently the garlic capitol of the world.  And it’s not just the sign that tells me that.  It’s the overwhelming smell of garlic.  Everywhere.

And it’s here that we have found our favorite RV park.  The Gilroy Garlic USA RV Park {this place is fantastic!}.

Because nothing says RV camping like a head of garlic wearing sunglasses.

So there you have it.  Three things never to do on a road trip.

 

Honorable mention {#4}:  Blow a tire

Because that’s not really a great thing either.

 

You may be wondering why we’re staying in Gilroy instead of somewhere on I-5 {as if you had any idea Gilroy wasn’t on I-5}.  Well, we’re staying here because it’s right outside San Jose and tomorrow we are headed to GREAT AMERICA!!!

We need some fun.  Friends of ours agreed to meet us at Great America, spend a whole day having a blast on roller coasters and water slides, then drive the rest of the way home with us.  That’s good friends for you.

I am so excited!  And so are the kids.  They have been troopers.  Their resiliency has been astounding.  And I hope tomorrow is a blessing to them.  They deserve it.  Grand Canyon, we may have missed you – but Great America, here we come {hopefully}!