In case you haven’t looked at a calendar recently, it’s almost May.  Can you believe it?  I feel like I just put away my Christmas decorations (and I promise I did that in December…I’m not one of those people who leaves them up for months). This year has gone by so fast.

With May almost upon us it’s time to start thinking about Mother’s Day.  That is not a reminder.  It’s a directive.  Start thinking about it.  Your mom (wife, sister, daughter, friend, grandma, mentor, godmother, step mom) deserves it.

So, to help out all of you who don’t have a clue what to get her, here is a list of what women REALLY want for Mother’s Day.

 

1.  We want to be thought of in advance

Yes, you need to be planning now.  THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO REMEMBER!!!!!!  Please don’t get up Sunday morning and say, “What do you want to do for Mother’s Day?” to your wife or mother.  What that clearly states is, “I didn’t think of you until the day I HAD to, so I’m going to wing it and just let you choose something because I didn’t take the time to plan anything.”  Ouch.

Husbands take note, we want you to be thinking of something RIGHT NOW!   Then you need to actually act on those thoughts to plan something.  None of this, “I thought of a thousand things we could do, but I haven’t made any plans yet” kind of nonsense.  I should hope that we are important enough to your families that you could do some advance planning.

And are you making us breakfast?  Then buy the ingredients a few days before hand.  We don’t want to watch the kids while you run to the store Mother’s Day morning.

Along these lines, make sure the kids are also doing some advance planning with you.  Have them make cards and gifts in advance – not the morning of.  It is not very encouraging for a mom to want to come out of her bedroom for breakfast and hear, “Stay in there, we’re not ready!  Shhhhhh!  Quick, write your name on this card!”

Important note:  Teaching your kids NOW how to make their mom feel special on Mother’s Day (and her birthday, for that matter) will mean they will remember when they are 30 to call their mother – and maybe even do something special for her – on special days.  This is a great gift to give your wife.

 

2.  We want you to recognize all that we do {by relieving us of all those duties}

Meal prep, dishes, laundry, cleaning, picking up messes, dressing children, refereeing arguments…these things fill our days.  On our special day we don’t want to do them.  But we also don’t want them just left for us to do on Monday.  So if you could busy yourself with some of our chores (and maybe get a taste of what it’s like to be Mom for the day) that would be great.  If you include the children in this you get extra points.  If you can get them to participate without whining, even more points.

 

3.  We want to enjoy the things that fill our souls

Some of us love reading, some love massages, some love gardening or shopping or getting together with family or sitting in the sun or really good wine or bike riding.  Some of love bubble baths or skydiving or dancing.  Whatever makes us feel alive an rested and rejuvenated – please make that happen for us.

Are you thinking, “I don’t have any clue what that would be”?  Well then, ASK!  There is no shame in asking, “What would make your Mother’s Day perfect?”  Or “If you could do anything on Mother’s Day, what would it be?”  Asking is a necessary part of setting yourself up for success.  Once you know, make the necessary arrangements immediately {see #1}.

**A note about spa treatments.  Make arrangements now.  Mother’s Day books quickly.  Seriously, now.  Go.  Call them.

 

4.  We want to feel special

This is not just any other day.  This is our day.  Our one day when all of the contractions and midnight feedings and dinners and clean clothes and kissed owies and paint projects and milk spills and time-outs and carpools are recognized.  If you do not recognize them – if you do not make us feel special and appreciated today – then we feel as though you do not value anything we do as a mom.

It’s true.  Just sayin’.

So make us feel special.  Write your thoughts and gratitude down in a card.  Get us a gift.  Make us breakfast.  Or take us out to breakfast (to a place where you’ve already planned to go – again, see #1).  Rub our feet.  Make a huge “Thank You” sign and hang it on the mantle.  Do whatever you can do to make us feel special.

Again, include the children, they usually have great ideas {see #1}.

And think of it in advance {see #1}.

And if you don’t have a clue what makes us feel special, ASK {see #3} in advance {see #1}.

Are you seeing a pattern?

 

5.  We want this day to be all about us {not about you}

It’s possible that we may want to spend part of our Mother’s Day alone.  That’s ok.  Because remember, it’s not about you.  It’s about us feeling appreciated and special and getting a chance to be filled.

It’s also possible that you may screw something up.  Maybe you forgot #1 or #3.  If you do and we get upset, remember it’s not about you.  Don’t try to make us feel sorry for you, that you are a guy and just don’t get this whole Mother’s Day thing.  Don’t try to convince us that you did your best.  Let us recognize that ourselves (because we will…eventually).  Today is not about you.  If you screwed up, apologize and try to make it up to us.  Don’t try to justify yourself because, again, it’s not about you.

Please make this day about us and only us.

 

There you have it.  The five things we really want for Mother’s Day.  Stick with these five things and you’ll be golden.

 

Need some more direction?  Here are some more detailed tips:

• Get cards now for mothers far away.  Don’t forget Grandmother cards from the kids.  Fill them out, address them, stamp them and have them ready to mail.  Mail them on Monday, May 7th.

 

• Get your wife {and mother of your children} some flowers.  But be creative.  Don’t just get her the bunch of dyed carnations you see as you walk into Safeway.  Get some lilies or dahlias {pictured above} or a spring bouquet made by a talented florist.  Want to make it super special?  Have the kids each pick out a type of flower that they think represents Mom and make your own bouquet.  When you present them to her, have the kids explain the bloom they chose and why they chose it.

 

• Does she love Starbucks (or another coffee shop)?  Sneak out before she wakes up and get her favorite drink from her favorite shop.  Deliver it to her as she wakes up.  You can include the kids in this one too.

 

• Does she love reading?  Get her a new book she’s been wanting to read and give her a chance to read it.

 

• Does she love bike riding or running or hiking?  Give her a few hours to enjoy her pastime alone and guilt free.

 

• Decorate the house with streamers and signs before she wakes up.  Then clean them up at the end of the day.

 

• Take her to her favorite restaurant for dinner.  Make these plans in advance.

 

• Tell everyone you meet what a great mom she is.  All day.  Even if it makes you look like a fool.  Women love it when men are willing to look foolish for them.

 

• Are you technically minded?  Make a video for her of your kids saying all kinds of wonderful things about her.  Include pictures of her with the kids through the years.

 

• Do the laundry from start to finish.  Gather dirty clothes, wash, dry, fold AND put away.

 

• Finish a chore she’s been wanting you to do for months.

 

To sum up, spend the day making her feel special.  She does a lot for you and your kids.  She deserves one day of making it all about her.

 

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