There has been a lot going on around here lately. The start of school, getting settled in our new home, and a round of the flu to be exact. Everyone in our house but the hubby got it, for a week each. So we are just getting used to having a week where everyone is healthy and no one needs to be given tylenol every time you turn around. And now fall is here, complete with changing leaves, pumpkins and the beginning of another holiday season. We’ve got birthdays coming up and gymnastics and we (and by we I mean me) are furiously making Christmas presents so we don’t add to the landfills, support the consumerism of America and give people stuff, stuff and more stuff. Classroom volunteering starts in October, as does the countdown to my sister’s due date. I think I need to figure out composting while the leaves are falling, as I hear they have a great deal to do with good dirt. AND we have loads of projects to do around our new house.
So you just read that list, are you tired yet?
Needless to say, I am having trouble wrapping my head around life and concentrating on things that are important. Our church is doing ann alignment series right now (by the way, I despise that term…but I may rant about that later). We are all studying the same thing in bible studies, home groups, Sunday morning, high school ministry, etc… Let’s just say, I’m finding it hard to be aligned. I am in a place of personal unsettledness right now, and that usually brings out my cynicism and questioning. I feel as though I should be doing more or have more of a purpose, but everything around me seems so “Ecclesiastes”. Meaningless. Pointless. I know what my heart is drawn towards, what it beats for, what it breaks for…but life as I see it around me has nothing to do with that. And I find myself asking, “Am I being let towards a new thing? Do you have something more for me?” But, alas, no answer yet. Just another day of unsettled soul angst living here in my American luxury, drinking my Starbucks and driving my kid to free public school in my 7 passenger vehicle with warm clothes, a full stomach and a head swimming in questions.
And as life continues to move and time continues to march on here I hear the sounds of a baby who needs his mamma and notice that I need to jump into my 7 passenger vehicle once again to drive down the paved streets and pick up my son from school.
More to come on this unsettledness…
Well…maybe your brain is on overload, because you can’t focus…because your malnourished this week! Ha ha. I know my brain is not working properly, and my stomach is growling…mostly, because I’m tired of beans and rice, and not eating much of it. I think we’re ending our fast with a big fat breakfast on Saturday morning.
We were just chatting in the car, about what we have “learned” this week…and I’m with you. We kind of know already where our heart is…we are already pretty sensitive to the world’s great needs. Ok, that sounds like we’re so great and have it all together. not what I mean. We’ve been blessed to have some great life experiences that have tremendously impacted us on this particular subject. We are glad, SO glad, that our church is bringing this need before the eyes of our church. It is so needed, and I think eye opening for alot of folks. So, that is good. Out of curiousity, why do you hate the term “alignment series”? I’ve never given it much thought. I do like the idea of us all being unified on one topic…
Ok…now I’m starting to babble. I’m going to go sip my tea and hope it makes my belly feel fuller. Sloshy…but fuller.
Have SO much fun at Aunt Tam’s! I’m so jealous that you get to go!
Generally, I don’t like the term because it makes me think of a church that says, “This is what WE think. So, since you go here, you should think it too.” It’s not that I don’t like what they are saying. On the contrary, I really love where Summit View has taken this…but I think too many American Christians allow themselves to be aligned with theology and ideals that they should not buy into – but since they don’t think about what they are hearing, they just accept it. I don’t think I like the feeling of being aligned with anyone but Christ. Even if it is the church I go to. I don’t like belonging to or being attached to anything but Christ and his church (as opposed to Summit View Church or the Baptist Denomination or Evangelical Christianity or the Emergent movement…). And I think I want to feel free to accept or reject teaching based on my study of the Word, and the term “alignment” just seems to carry a lot of baggage.
I have learned that most of my problems (but not all of them) with Summit View come down to verbage and terminology, not heart or vision or intentions. I’m big on words.
Feeling unsettled too, I think transitions lead to unsettledness. Miss you, we need to talk soon! And what is Aunt Tam’s??
Love you and glad you are feeling better!!
Aunt Tam’s is a new fabric store in Battle Ground. Apparently a super cool store that is locally owned. I’m heading up there to check it out tomorrow.
I love how you question everything. I think it’s a good thing. I hope you can find some peace and some direction for your soul…
Love you!
I think great questions lead to great things…however, we need to make sure that we go beyond the questions and disgust(maybe not the right word) for what we have in our lives and make the necessary changes that show we’re listening to our hearts. If your feeling overly thankful for public school than show that gratitude to the teachers/staff somehow even if in your words or a smile. If that Starbucks in your cup is making you feel like a greedy American than start brewing more at home or go to a local shop. If that 7 passanger fan ever has a free seat see if there is somebody in your area that you can help transport…
I am sure you’ve thought of these things. I’ve been there, I’m often there – wanting to do more but bound by life circumstances to do just what I can. These questions have brought about simple changes in our lives here in the Kelly household (cloth diapers, line drying clothes, Friday no drive day, buying clothes for those in need at local retirement homes….ect) I can’t say I have any words of wisdom about church as we are still very unsettled about that whole topic.
I’m once again thankful for your honest post. I look forward to hearing more about your life changes. Take care
oops that was suppose to say “van” not fan